Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
