Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
