We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
