ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
