If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
