Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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