I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
