I wish life had little blips of pornography
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just had sex on a roof
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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