I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
