It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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