My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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