we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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