my vag is so smooth its legendary
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
