i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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