just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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