i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
