I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Terrible idea I love it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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