Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
