I'm drive I can fine osifer
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
