birth control should be required to get into college
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
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