do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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