I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
