You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
