He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
