You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize