i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
