spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
