1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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