i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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