Do vagina's smell?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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