worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
