"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
