Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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