The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
