I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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