I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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