There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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