Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize