my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize