Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i think i just lost a toe
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
