So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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