You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
