so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize