Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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