im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I cockslap morals
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
