i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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