My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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