Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
