who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
