don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
