I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
