My first STD was from a foam party
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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