you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
