All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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