I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
