nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
