My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
