i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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